Yesterday morning I had the bitter sweet opportunity to take my dear husband to the airport for another six month assignment in the Philippines. You would think that I would be used to this by now, but yesterday had an overwhelming affect on my spirit that I could hardly contain myself the entire day...I found myself weeping at everything I looked at; each thought I had brought about great sadness. I was feeling overwhelmed with emotion. It was not until this morning when I began to understand what I was truly "feeling".
This really is the beginning of the end of this chapter in our life; a chapter that even though it has had its moments of incredible joy, has also been filled with so much adversity, pain, sorrow, grief, disappointment, frustration, rejection, and discouragement. But with all the opposition, comes a hope for a better day,the reality of all that we have learned and the peace of what we now have to offer.
"In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd."
(President James . Faust, Refined in our Trials, Liahona Feb. 2006)
When we finally accepted the need for change in our life, we were humbled to the reality that we are not completely in control of our lives. We had been fighting for so long to stick to our plan, that it did not occur to us that maybe our plan was not completely in sync with our Heavenly Father's plan for us. After much fasting and prayer, we realized that we needed to be a little more flexible and trust that there is a plan outlined for us. Even though it may be different from our plan, we need to be more faithful in accepting that our Father's perspective is greater than ours and with that perspective comes the knowledge about what is best for us. His path will eventually lead to blessings, which we all need. The amazing part is that once we changed our hearts, the shackles were removed and the stress subsided. We can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. So here we are today with our house sold, Tyler in the Philippines, the kids and I packing up all of our things awaiting the storage facility where they will stay until Tyler returns from the Philippines. As for the kids and I, we will be in a state of limbo for the next six months. We're calling it our regrouping phase, or to put it another way, "mom needs a break real bad phase". It will consist of extended vacations to Utah, long over night visits with "grandma", etc. The truth of it is that we have turned everything over to our Father in Heaven. We don't know what our future has in store for us, but when the time comes for us to be called, wherever it may be, we will be ready. When Tyler comes home, we truly will begin the next chapter of our life. The sky is the limit for our family. We do know that even though the last four years have been difficult, we will be able to take the experiences we have gained from our trials and draw from them for the rest of our lives. They have been shaping us into the people we need to be, so that we can be prepared for the purposes we have been sent to this earth to accomplish. So here's to our future, may it be bright...
After the trials will come blessings...
"In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd."
(President James . Faust, Refined in our Trials, Liahona Feb. 2006)
When we finally accepted the need for change in our life, we were humbled to the reality that we are not completely in control of our lives. We had been fighting for so long to stick to our plan, that it did not occur to us that maybe our plan was not completely in sync with our Heavenly Father's plan for us. After much fasting and prayer, we realized that we needed to be a little more flexible and trust that there is a plan outlined for us. Even though it may be different from our plan, we need to be more faithful in accepting that our Father's perspective is greater than ours and with that perspective comes the knowledge about what is best for us. His path will eventually lead to blessings, which we all need. The amazing part is that once we changed our hearts, the shackles were removed and the stress subsided. We can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. So here we are today with our house sold, Tyler in the Philippines, the kids and I packing up all of our things awaiting the storage facility where they will stay until Tyler returns from the Philippines. As for the kids and I, we will be in a state of limbo for the next six months. We're calling it our regrouping phase, or to put it another way, "mom needs a break real bad phase". It will consist of extended vacations to Utah, long over night visits with "grandma", etc. The truth of it is that we have turned everything over to our Father in Heaven. We don't know what our future has in store for us, but when the time comes for us to be called, wherever it may be, we will be ready. When Tyler comes home, we truly will begin the next chapter of our life. The sky is the limit for our family. We do know that even though the last four years have been difficult, we will be able to take the experiences we have gained from our trials and draw from them for the rest of our lives. They have been shaping us into the people we need to be, so that we can be prepared for the purposes we have been sent to this earth to accomplish. So here's to our future, may it be bright...
After the trials will come blessings...
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5 comments:
A hard lesson to learn indeed. It's good to read your testimony of faith in Heavenly Father.
He does know what's best. Your children will be blessed by your faith and witnessing your example of a "surrendured" life.
Keep your chin up!
Hannah will be out for just 1/2 the summer. June 1st thru July 3rd.
Why is he going to be gone for 6 months?
Best of luck with all the changes! We sure are going to miss you guys around here!
I'll be thinking about you guys. I'm sure you'll be watched over. Take care, Mandy!!
Mandy, that was a really touching post. I am excited for your family and the bright future that awaits you. I believe wonderful things will happen for your family. I know these past few years have not been easy. I am grateful for your sweet friendship and look forward to still being in touch and seeing you in Utah (please visit us anytime - we would love it!).
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